Lots of people move to NYC every single day (because we're the best at most things), but still lots of other people don't (because they're dumb). Well, consider forwarding this to all of your compadres who are the latter: our state-by-state guide to why everyone should move to NYC.
As far as we know the only volcanoes we have here are in our Tiki drinks, and you can surf in the Rockaways. Also check out our spam scene -- not too shabby.
Idaho
Because New York City has never once been confused with Iowa.
Illinois
Because your pizza is ridiculous. Just come and try ours, just for like a week.
Indiana
Because we've still got a Manning.
Iowa
Because you might enjoy having a rooting interest in a pro sports team. We have SO MANY.
Because you'd like to work somewhere other than a casino or a strip club.
New Hampshire
Because our state highway signs aren't permanently stuck with the image of a toppled rock formation. Also, nothing here has a nickname rooted in the word "trash".
New Jersey
Because then you can live in a place you aren't constantly defending as "not as bad as everyone says".
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